Enhancing Intimacy when Her Primary Love Language is Gifts
Most guys get this one wrong
The love language I frequently lean towards is often verbal affirmation.
This isn’t necessarily a false statement. Indeed, heartfelt compliments truly bolster the sensation of being loved.
Unquestionably, I have a notable affinity for accolades. Hence, words of affirmation, when spoken appropriately and at the right time, wield a potent impact on me.
However, the claim seems somewhat incomplete. Truthfully, my dominant love languages are twofold.
Verbal affirmations are undoubtedly influential – as are tokens of affection.
Admitting the latter was somewhat challenging at first. It felt as if it was a topic I ought to feel awkward about.
I’m not the sole individual who prefers receiving gifts and simultaneously feels like they’re harbouring a guilty secret.
The rarity of individuals openly declaring gift receiving as their love language isn’t due to its infrequency, but rather the associated stigma and frequent negative chatter surrounding it.
Verbal affirmations are universally understood. It’s challenging to perceive appreciation and love if your partner refrains from expressing genuine compliments and encouragement.
The concept is similar to physical touch. Massages and cuddles are frequently associated with intimacy in the collective mindset.
However, expressing that receiving gifts makes you feel uniquely appreciated can often lead to misconceptions.
Some might interpret this as you placing material possessions above your partner or that you’re overly demanding, requiring them to expend a significant part of their income to keep you content. In the most negative light, some might even perceive you as an opportunistic gold digger.
Therefore, when love languages are under discussion, one might feel inclined to select another, such as quality time or physical touch, particularly if you’re a man using a dating app.
Nevertheless, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with appreciating the love language of gift-giving. Misconceptions are prevalent.
Significantly, this love language isn’t synonymous with materialism. The gifts themselves are less significant – it’s the meaning they hold that matters.
A gift symbolises thoughtfulness and consideration. It’s evidence that someone prioritises your happiness enough to make an effort to please you. A good gift has the power to make you feel seen and deeply understood.
Since many individuals misunderstand this aspect of the gift-giving love language, they struggle with choosing gifts that make their partners feel appreciated and loved.
Grasping this concept is crucial if your partner’s love language is receiving gifts. Understanding and expressing love in her language will cater to her emotional needs and solidify your relationship.
It’s also a significant factor in enhancing physical intimacy.
Ensuring she feels loved, valued, and secure will boost your mutual chemistry. This will amplify her attraction towards you, thereby improving your chances of experiencing physical closeness.
Thus, if your aim is to woo her with gifts, here’s the strategy.
Don’t Wait for a Special Occasion
You’ve likely covered the primary gift-giving occasions already.
You present her with a thoughtful gift on her birthday. You ensure a gift awaits her on Christmas morning. Valentine’s Day also includes an element of surprise.
If you’ve mastered these occasions, that’s commendable. She’ll surely appreciate it.
However, to truly ignite her excitement, surprise her with a gift when she least expects it.
Not during a holiday or a special occasion, but spontaneously, on an ordinary day.
When the gift isn’t tied to an obligation, it feels like a genuine expression of your affection. Such surprises make her feel extraordinarily special.
Make Gifts a Thing
There’s another reason why gifts outside special occasions are crucial: they ensure a steady supply of tokens of affection.
If your goal is to enhance physical intimacy, remember that it’s not a spontaneous event. It’s a sequence of emotional connections.
Prior to desiring physical intimacy, she must feel desirable.
To evoke this sensation, she needs to feel wanted.
However, feeling wanted is contingent on knowing she’s still cherished by you.
Gifting her thoughtful presents is one way of showing that she’s still a top priority, and you haven’t started taking her for granted.
Considering her love language, these gifts play a crucial role in maintaining her emotional spark. However, if these gifts are scarce, her emotional fire could dwindle.
Therefore, if you aspire for an improved intimate life, gift-giving should be a regular occurrence. When an ideal gift for her comes to mind, go ahead and purchase it. If you happen to pass a flower shop, buy her a bouquet of her favourite flowers. Grab her preferred snack on your way home.
You needn’t shower her with gifts daily. Just ensure it’s frequent enough for her to constantly remember her importance to you.
Always Get Something Thoughtful
Purchasing a gift for her does not necessarily guarantee a sexual reward. An expensive item doesn’t assure an invitation into her intimate space either.
Key to sparking her interest is to provide her with a meaningful gift.
This should be a well-thought-out present that demonstrates you’ve listened to her, learned her likes and dislikes, and understood her potential interests.
A generic item from a “Gifts for Women” section on a popular online store won’t serve this purpose. Likewise, jewelry doesn’t guarantee success, even though many believe women always appreciate such items.
However, if you present her with a beloved soft pretzel she hasn’t indulged in for a while, you’re on the right track. Similarly, a pair of stylish socks matching her aesthetic or an adult coloring book to alleviate her stress could hit the mark perfectly.
If you’re uncertain about choosing the right gift, maintain a list. Write down any items she might appreciate or that she mentions. This way, you will always have a trove of thoughtful gift ideas.
Don’t Treat It Like a Trade
While some may view this process as transactional—offering the right gift to receive sexual favors—it should never be approached this way.
While this strategy may indeed increase your chances of sexual intimacy due to the affection and attention you’re showing her, it’s important to remember that gifts are tokens of love, not commodities for trade.
If she feels your gifts are merely attempts to initiate sex, they’ll lose their significance. Gifts given with the expectation of immediate sexual reciprocation tend to have a similar effect.
However, if your intentions for giving gifts are genuine and aimed at making her feel good, you’re doing well. While it may not always result in heightened sexual activity, it will certainly make you more desirable.
Be Careful With the Sexy Gifts
Introducing sexy gifts, especially during a thriving sexual phase, can be enjoyable. A new sex toy for shared use, massage oil for a full-body rub, or a wedge to alleviate her backache during sex can all be fun and considerate additions.
These playful offerings can demonstrate that you value her pleasure, possibly enticing her more adventurous side. However, if she’s not feeling particularly sexy, such gifts could backfire, making her feel pressured instead.
The peach-flavored lube you purchased to delight her might come across as a veiled request for oral sex. Similarly, introducing kinkier items like handcuffs or a remote-control vibrator could make her feel guilty if she’s not in the mood.
While sexy gifts can be slightly risky, you can mitigate these risks by including her in the shopping process. This ensures she’s excited about the new couples’ vibrator, even if she helped select it, and allows for plenty of non-threatening surprise gift opportunities.
Make Her Feel Special
If you desire more sexual intimacy, it’s natural to perceive it as a problem with your sex life, leading you to seek sexual solutions.
You might start initiating more frequently, try watching adult content together, or even suggest scheduling sex. However, these strategies bypass crucial steps.
The more effective approach often lies in simple measures: connecting with her emotionally, becoming more desirable to her, being attentive, and making her feel safe and loved.
If her love language is receiving gifts, surprising her with thoughtful items will be part of this process. This may require some effort but will likely yield better results than merely scheduling sex and hoping for the best.