Beach Sex: What to Do and What Not to Do

Beaches are like chill zones, perfect for finding your zen, unwinding, and feeling a bit frisky. If the idea of beach romance floats your boat, you’re not alone. There’s even a cocktail named after it. Sounds cool, right? You’re out there with nature, feeling the breeze, the water, the sand, the sun—totally ready to unleash your inner wild side.

But here’s the deal: having beach fun requires some real talk. In the movies, it’s all spontaneous, romantic, and enchanting. In real life, we need to factor in things like sand where the sun usually doesn’t shine. And, oh yeah, the risk of getting caught by the authorities.

Don’t get me wrong; beach fun is on the table. It just means you’ve gotta plan it out in advance.

So, before you dive into seaside passion to the rhythm of the waves, check out these super important dos and don’ts:

Before you get all steamy on the sands, make sure it’s not breaking any laws. The heat can quickly turn into a buzzkill if you end up with a fine for public indecency. And if you’re in a foreign land, be extra cautious about the legal consequences. Getting arrested during vacation? Not exactly a sexy souvenir (real handcuffs aren’t as alluring as furry ones, trust me). Unless you own a private beach, spontaneous beach rendezvous might not be the best idea.

DO: Choose your beach wisely.

Thinking of a quickie on a busy public beach? Think again. The more secluded and private, the better. Find a spot with one entrance so you can keep an eye on who’s approaching. Look for a clean, debris-free area that’s relatively flat, and make sure you’re not too close to the ocean in case the tide decides to crash your party at the wrong moment.

DO: Think easy-access rather than stylish.

When it comes to clothing, go for practical and easy-access. Choose a sarong, stretchy shorts, a casual sundress, or a flowy skirt. If you have a partner with a penis, opt for shorts or a swimsuit that allows for easy, um, access. Also, consider keeping as many clothes on as possible for a quick getaway or to cover up if needed.

DO: Come Prepared

To avoid any unwanted guests like sand in sensitive places (leading to potential infections), and to enhance overall comfort, assemble a little beach intimacy kit. Include a sand-proof or oversized blanket (or three), along with a compact towel. For an extra level of preparation, consider bringing a portable beach cabana (a beach tent) for optimal coverage and sun protection. Additionally, pack items that contribute to a safer and more enjoyable experience, such as condoms, lube, and sex toys, intimate accessories and cleanser.

DO: Broaden Your Horizons

While many still see penetrative sex as the go-to, it’s not the only game in town. Anything that brings pleasure and intimacy counts, so don’t fixate. Engage in teasing, dirty talk, kissing, caressing, and using your hands or mouths. More and more people are discovering the joys of outercourse, and when it comes to beach adventures, it might just be the way to go. It allows for manual or oral activities under a blanket with minimal attention drawn to yourselves.

DO: Wait for the Nightfall

Unless you’ve got a private beach, the risk of being caught is real. Play it safe and wait until the sun sets. In the spirit of consent, spare other beachgoers (and potentially their children) from unintentional spectacles; traumatic memories last a lifetime. Plus, there’s the whole legality thing. Nighttime is the right time, bottom line.

DO: Consider Water Play

Getting frisky in a natural body of water, like the ocean, can be exhilarating and discreet. However, keep it private—avoid an audience. Despite the allure, you can’t be sure about the water’s cleanliness or potential parasites. Do some research on the water quality before taking the plunge.

DON’T: Use the wrong lube.

Opt for the appropriate lube for your needs. Water-based lubes are usually great, but if you’re getting busy in the water, keep in mind they wash off easily. Water itself is not a suitable lubricant, so make sure to have silicone-based lube handy—it makes a difference. And if you’re using condoms, steer clear of oil-based lubes as they break down latex.

DON’T: Try awkward, challenging, or highly conspicuous positions.

Not all beach sex positions are equal. For a low-profile experience under a blanket (perfect for pretending to nap), go for missionary. To avoid unwanted sand encounters, opt for positions that keep your private parts away from the sand, like doggy style. If you’re looking for a discreet option, try the spooning position, rocking back and forth until you find the right rhythm. If you brought a beach chair, consider cowgirl. Whatever you choose, cover up with a towel.

DON’T: Do it in the wind.

If it’s windy, postpone your beach plans. Beach plus wind equals sand in every nook and cranny, not the sexy scenario you’re aiming for. Beach wind isn’t romantic when you’re horizontal—take note.

DON’T: Leave a mess.

Bring tissues for clean-up and a small plastic bag for condom disposal. No one should stumble upon your postcoital scene, and it’s respectful to the environment. Be a responsible eco-lover and make any evidence disappear.

DON’T: Get caught.

Avoid midday escapades. Stay away from people, especially kids. Keep it brief—urgency adds to the thrill. Don’t ignore if someone is watching; if you see them approaching or filming from afar, just stop. Wait until dusk at the very least. Choose a deserted beach. Keep an eye and an ear out for others. Keep the volume down; audible moans may attract unwanted attention. If you’re worried about getting caught but still want the beach experience, consider renting a private beach house or using a tent at a campsite with beach views. Enjoy the adventure, but stay discreet!

If you’re extra cautious, rent a beach house with a private strip of beach or go for a tent at a campsite with beach views. You can still enjoy the beach experience with fewer risks. Happy beach adventures to all you daring souls!