Getting Your Sexy Mojo Back After Kids
Summary: The context discusses ways for parents to improve communication and intimacy in their relationship after having children. It emphasizes the importance of openly communicating about feelings, urges, and solutions regarding sex. It also suggests experimenting in the bedroom and seizing intimate opportunities that come up, like quickies or flirty texts, even when time is limited. Compromise and prioritizing quality time with each other can help overcome challenges to intimacy after kids.
If you’re a parent, it’s a no-brainer that you love your kids and wouldn’t trade them for anything. But, it’s only natural to wonder when and how you’ll get the rest of your life back on track, especially if you’re new to parenthood.
This is even truer for couples struggling to prioritize their sex life amidst the chaos of parenthood. The intimate connection with a spouse is a significant part of maintaining sanity when life gets crazy, and sex plays a massive role in that. Here are some tips for reigniting the spark after kids.
Quality Time Without the Kids
Admittedly, this can be challenging for parents with large families or newborns, but it’s crucial for every couple to prioritize. The time set aside doesn’t have to revolve solely around sex (though it can be if you both desire). It does need to be regular, though.
Arrange for a babysitter once a week so you and your partner can enjoy a romantic dinner out or engage in a cherished shared activity. Spend some couch time after the kids are in bed, catching up on a favorite show. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it’s just the two of you.
Seize Opportunities as They Come
Even in the midst of a hectic life with kids or other obligations, there are more chances to connect with your partner on a deeper level than you might realize. Spot them and take advantage of them when you can. In other words, be spontaneous and embrace the moment.
Remember, connections don’t always have to involve lengthy, full-on naked escapades. Deep kisses, playful squeezes, flirty texts, or a quick and steamy encounter when time is tight can work wonders. Stay open to these opportunities for connection.
Commit to experimenting in the bedroom
It’s not always the lack of time and opportunities that keeps couples with kids from having the sex lives they really desire. Stress, body image concerns, age, and similar factors linked to parenthood can make it tougher to let go and fully immerse yourself in the experience as you once did. Sexual ruts and stale routines can also be stumbling blocks.
Committing to experimenting, exploring, and keeping things fresh can help couples overcome these challenges. Consider creating a sexual bucket list with things you both want to try. Aim to check off one item every month or every couple of weeks deliberately.
Open Lines of Communication
When parents, especially new ones, feel overwhelmed, it’s too easy to take frustrations out on a partner, especially in the realm of sex. Compassion and communication are key to navigating such situations.
For instance, moms often bear the brunt of childcare responsibilities, feeling overwhelmed and misunderstood by dads eager to resume sexual activities after having kids. Meanwhile, dads may feel rejected, judged, and less important in their partners’ lives.
Prevent misunderstandings and defuse tensions by communicating regularly. Discuss sexual urges, feelings, and desires (or lack thereof). Listen to each other and work together to find mutually agreeable solutions.
Ultimately, revitalizing your sex life after kids is about restoring balance. It’s challenging but not impossible. Focus on honoring each other, the beautiful family you’re building, and establishing a new pattern that suits everyone involved.