Is It Concerning If I Never Masturbate?
This concern about not masturbating is relatively new. In the past, doctors warned against it, but nowadays, it’s often seen as a normal part of a healthy sex life.
Masturbation is incredibly common worldwide, and those who abstain from it are in the minority. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s wrong, as long as you’re making informed choices about your sexuality.
Research from the University of Chicago, based on a sample of American adults, found that only 38% of women and 61% of men reported masturbating in the past year, highlighting the variability in habits.
So, should you worry if you never masturbate? The answer depends on a few factors:
- Do you truly never masturbate, or is it just infrequent? Have you stopped after previously doing so, and if yes, why?
- What’s the reason behind your lack of masturbation? Is it because it doesn’t appeal to you, or do you view it negatively?
- Why are you asking this question? Is it because you’re curious about masturbation, or do you feel pressured to engage in it?
If you’ve tried masturbation but found it uninteresting and have fulfilling sexual experiences through other means, there’s likely no cause for concern. Masturbation has benefits, but these can also be achieved through sex with a partner.
However, if you desire to masturbate but haven’t, it might be worth reconsidering. Here are common reasons people give for not masturbating:
Challenges with Masturbation
‘Many individuals struggle to reach orgasm,’ says Krystal Woodbridge, a psychosexual therapist. ‘While some women face no issues, others do.’
Consider this analogy: if your only driving experience involved accidentally releasing the parking brake as a child, you might hesitate to drive again. Similarly, past attempts at masturbation may not reflect your current abilities. Your techniques and fantasies may have evolved since adolescence.
Hopefully, you now have a better understanding of your body and sexual anatomy than you did in your youth. Additionally, other factors unrelated to technique could affect your ability to enjoy masturbation.
Physical obstacles or past negative sexual encounters may hinder sexual enjoyment, even during solo activities. If you suspect this is the case, consulting a trusted healthcare professional is advisable.
Misconceptions Surrounding Masturbation
Let’s debunk a common misconception: masturbation isn’t limited to a specific demographic. People of all ages, races, genders, and backgrounds engage in it.
While not everyone masturbates, denying yourself this form of pleasure based on misconceptions is unnecessary. Masturbation is a universally accepted aspect of human sexuality.
Although discussing masturbation with your partner may be uncomfortable, there’s no reason for it to be taboo. In fact, incorporating solo play into your relationship can enhance sexual experiences with your partner.
Religious or Cultural Restraints
If you abstain from masturbation due to religious or cultural reasons, it’s essential to explore the diverse perspectives within your faith community. Research how different members interpret teachings on sexuality and masturbation. Reflect on whether other activities bring you pleasure despite cultural disapproval, and consider why masturbation doesn’t fall into that category.
Feeling guilty about masturbating isn’t the solution. Many devout individuals navigate their sexual desires while honoring their religious convictions, although it may require more deliberation than for others.
Challenges with Masturbation
Struggling to find pleasure in masturbation is common and warrants consideration. Physical issues, such as the body’s response to stimulation or overall interest in sex, could be factors. Psychological and emotional barriers, such as performance pressure or past negative experiences, may also play a role.
Often, a combination of factors contributes to the difficulty. Additionally, learning proper techniques for masturbation may enhance enjoyment, as both men and women may need guidance in this area.
If you suspect physical, psychological, or emotional obstacles, seeking advice from a trusted healthcare professional, sexual health clinic, or sex therapist may be beneficial.
Anorgasmia, or the inability to orgasm, is another potential factor. This condition, also known as orgasmic dysfunction, presents in different forms: primary anorgasmia (never experiencing orgasm), secondary anorgasmia (previously experiencing orgasm but no longer able), and situational anorgasmia (able to orgasm in some situations but not others).
Addressing Low Libido and Sexual Enjoyment
If you find yourself disinterested in sex and struggle to derive pleasure from it, there are steps you can take to address these concerns.
Fluctuations in sexual desire are normal and can be influenced by factors such as stress, fatigue, and overall health. However, if you consistently lack interest in sex and it distresses you, consider seeking advice from a healthcare professional.
Low libido may be linked to underlying sexual dysfunctions, such as erectile difficulties or pain during sex, which could indicate broader health issues requiring attention. Additionally, individuals who have experienced negative or coercive sexual encounters in the past may struggle to engage sexually, both with partners and alone.
Various factors can contribute to diminished sexual interest, whether longstanding or recent:
- Misinformation or lack of education about healthy sexual relationships
- Negative past sexual experiences
- Relationship dissatisfaction or difficulties
- Undiagnosed or untreated health conditions, including depression
- Changes in medication or medication side effects
- Periods of heightened stress or hormonal changes
Exploring these potential factors and seeking appropriate support can help you better understand and address your low libido and enhance your sexual enjoyment.