The Beginner’sComplete Guide to Spanking

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Consider erotic spanking – a distinctive sensation that harmoniously blends pleasure with an optimal degree of pain.

Erotic spanking, as a component of sexual intimacy, boasts a rich historical background extending to thousands of years ago. Archeological discoveries reveal frescos from the Etruscan civilization that date back to as early as the fifth century BCE. One such fresco explicitly portrays a threesome, wherein a woman is subjected to whipping with a primitive stick. Additionally, the time-honored sex manual, the Kama Sutra, advocates for the incorporation of spanking into sexual activities to amplify arousal for all participants. Clearly, our ancestors had a profound understanding of escalating pleasure through such means.

The Appeal of Erotic Spanking: Why Do Individuals Enjoy Giving or Receiving?

The attraction towards spanking, much like other sexual acts, is subjective and varies across individuals. For the spanked, the allure often lies in the consensual submissiveness and the thrill of a symbolic punishment. Conversely, those who spank may derive pleasure from the act of domination, exerting control over the situation, always anchored by mutual consent, of course.

While these reasons provide a legitimate perspective on the enjoyment of spanking, the essence of the attraction is rooted in the brain’s neurotransmitters. A neurochemical connection between pain and pleasure exists, with both serving as reward-punishment mechanisms that significantly influence our lives beyond the sphere of sex. When an individual indulges in an enjoyable activity, dopamine is released, priming the brain’s pleasure centers for an impending reward. In the context of spanking, if the act is pleasurable, the sustained dopamine release signals to the brain that the individual is thoroughly relishing the experience. This dynamic interplay of anticipation and sensation – the sensation being the reward – is instrumental. Nevertheless, this neural correlation does not universally exist, and for those without it, the act of either spanking or being spanked may not be appealing.

Spanking for Beginners

Whether you’ve never participated in spanking or are embarking on a new sexual journey with a partner unfamiliar with spanking, initiating a detailed conversation is paramount. One must not plunge headfirst into the world of erotic spanking without extensive discussions and explicit mutual consent.

Approaching the Topic of Spanking with Your Partner

Open communication about sex is essential, irrespective of whether your partner is a one-night acquaintance or a long-term companion. A potent strategy to initiate the dialogue about spanking could be to discuss your sexual fantasies. It’s during these intimate exchanges of desires that you could articulate your interest in spanking and inquire about your partner’s disposition towards it. The discourse should be candid, devoid of shame, and cover any potential sexual acts and fantasies. It is equally crucial to maintain a supportive attitude, refraining from expressing disappointment if your partner does not reciprocate your enthusiasm for spanking. Individuals derive pleasure from diverse sources, and any visible dissatisfaction could pressure your partner into unwanted acts, which is unequivocally undesirable.

Handling a Partner’s Disinterest in Spanking

In the event that your partner expresses disinterest in spanking, after your earnest conversation, what should be the next course of action? One potential solution lies in reaching a compromise. For instance, if your desire is to perform the spanking, your partner might be comfortable with you spanking inanimate objects like a pillow or mattress instead. If you desire to be spanked, self-spanking during sexual acts could be a feasible alternative that your partner might support. Oftentimes, in sexual situations as well, a satisfactory compromise can be reached, provided both partners understand and respect the reciprocal nature of sexual relationships.

Preparing for a Spanking Session

Conversations remain at the heart of preparation for a spanking session. Questions need to be addressed – Will the spanking be confined to the buttocks? Is spanking of the vulva, cheeks, or breasts acceptable? Does the scrotum form a part of the equation? Boundaries and expectations should be explicitly defined. For instance, what level of intensity is desirable – light spanking or ones intense enough to leave welts or bruises? Is a pink handprint a fair limit for you and your partner? Is it permissible to spank one body part harder than another? Given that your entire skin is technically open to spanking, it’s important to meticulously navigate through the specifics of what, where, and how. Initiate with gentleness, ensuring constant, open communication throughout the act.

Spanking Techniques

Given the multitude of areas on the human body susceptible to spanking, each with its unique spectrum of pleasure, it becomes essential to educate oneself on the techniques of spanking.

Spanking Targets

1. Gluteus Maximus: Uncertainty about where to initiate spanking is easily resolved: commence with the buttocks. Being the largest muscle group in the body, the gluteus maximus can endure spanking better than less fleshy areas. As a novice, focusing on this region is recommended, but be cautious to avoid repeatedly spanking the exact same spot. Consider this region a canvas deserving comprehensive attention. Persistently spanking the same area may lead to welts or even skin rupture. Thus, unless consented to by your partner, spanks should be diversified across the buttocks.

2. Genitals: Heightened arousal leads to increased blood flow to the genitals, thus enhancing their sensitivity. At this stage, spanking the vulva or scrotum might add to the pleasure, provided it has been mutually agreed upon. Note that for some, the genitals become excessively sensitive during arousal, making even a light spank intolerable.

3. Additional Body Parts: Spanking need not be confined to the buttocks and genitals, particularly for those engaging in BDSM. The face, breasts, feet, inner thighs, armpits, and other erogenous zones can also be intriguing areas to discover spanking sensations with your partner.

How to Spank

1. Utilizing the Hand: If you’re in the early stages of exploring spanking, it’s unlikely you’d arrive at a spanking session armed with an array of sex toys. The best starting point is indeed your hand, which is the most familiar tool. Direct skin-on-skin contact enhances the sensual experience and intimacy because both parties can feel the impact without any intermediary. The sensation of your partner’s skin against yours contributes significantly to the sexual experience, and using your hand provides this. Furthermore, hand spanking is less likely to cause discomfort or leave a mark. If you’re the spanker, remain conscious of your strength, particularly as arousal amplifies.

2. Employing Floggers or Paddles: If you’re eager to augment your spanking experience and explore varied sensations, instruments like floggers, paddles, and crops can be instrumental. However, since these are not an extension of your body like your hand, you need to be aware of the different impact levels they can produce, depending on the force exerted and the areas targeted. While these toys may significantly elevate the spanking experience for some, they might not resonate with others. If you and your partner discover a preference for hand-only spanking, then embrace your unique style!

3. Other Implements: For those inclined towards creativity, an assortment of objects can be repurposed for spanking: magazines, slippers, belts, books, and more. Regardless of the implement chosen, ensure mutual agreement and secure consent from both partners beforehand.

Best Spanking Positions

1. Over the Knee: The over-the-knee position resonates profoundly with the classic disciplinary spanking image, placing your partner over your knee. This position offers an excellent gateway into sub/dom role-play for those keen on experimenting with power dynamics.

2. Doggy Style: When a partner assumes the doggy style position, their buttocks are conveniently placed and primed for spanking. The position also provides room for simultaneous sexual stimulation, amalgamating various sensations that amplify the pleasure for both parties.

3. Standing: Irrespective of whether you’re engaging in standing intercourse or standing oral sex, where one partner kneels while pleasuring the other, these configurations open up several spanking scenarios. For instance, the standing partner could spank the kneeling partner’s face while receiving oral, and reciprocally, the kneeling partner can spank the standing partner’s buttocks. Such combinations of sexual activities invariably heighten pleasure.

4. Bent Over Furniture: Furniture can add an enticing element to sexual encounters. From the backs of couches and chair arms to staircases, desks, and kitchen counters, your home could virtually be transformed into a playground of sexual adventure. Regarding spanking, the sight of a partner bent over a piece of furniture, such as a kitchen table, offers an irresistible visual stimulus, sparking intense arousal in both participants.

5. Straddling: If you’re more inclined to do the spanking, having your partner straddle you, with or without penetration, can be an exciting proposition. This position not only allows for optimal spanking but also creates an intriguing power dynamic. Despite doing the spanking, the partner on top also commands significant control, adding to the erotic tension.

Advanced Spanking

Also referred to as intense spanking, advanced spanking explores the boundary between pain and pleasure, posing a challenge not meant for the faint-hearted. While spanking remains a prevalent BDSM activity, it is crucial to differentiate it from the far more rigorous forms of BDSM-style spanking. Venturing into such territory is not a casual decision; it requires gradual acclimatization and complete trust in your partner, thereby ensuring safety at all times.

The importance of consent cannot be overstated, particularly in sexual activities that traverse personal comfort zones. Even while pushing these boundaries, it is imperative to respect certain limits. Before considering advanced spanking, potentially a component of rough sex, engaging in thorough dialogue with your partner is crucial. Recognize the possible physical harm that might be mutually accepted and ascertain if both parties are prepared for such consequences. Ensure a mutual understanding that consent can be revoked at any time, and upon its withdrawal, the activity ceases immediately.

Safety Measures

Implementing safety measures is paramount when participating in any form of intense sexual activities. If not already established, the creation of a safe word should be the initial step. A safe word is an agreed term which, when uttered, signifies the immediate termination of the activity. Some couples may prefer multiple safe words, each representing a different directive like “stop” or “ease up.” Regardless of the number, the crucial aspect is having a safe word and being aware of each other’s safe word.

Precautions

Intense spanking could potentially result in visible marks or minor injuries, albeit consensually incurred. It is wise to keep items like a damp towel, topical antibiotics, and ice readily accessible, preparing for any eventuality. These supplies also become handy during the aftercare phase.

What do other women say?

SpankMeVB
As a youthful 35-year-old woman, I find myself perpetually navigating the journey of finding the ideal companion to accompany me through life. A recurring hurdle is the difficulty in forging a durable, stable connection with a man who fails to recognize the integral role spanking plays in my life, or with whom the development of a robust trust and mutual respect is elusive. Regretfully, the majority of men remain oblivious to this fundamental requirement. My past is littered with multiple discouraging encounters where my explicit requests have resulted in either excessively harsh, irresponsible spanking or fleeting, inadequate gestures. The pervasive misapprehension that a single, forceful slap resulting in a “handprint” is satisfactory is a stark testament to this lack of understanding. The crucial psychological and emotional implications that accompany my need are often overlooked.

Bratness shared her experience too. Having recently separated from her husband, she suspects the absence of spanking in their relationship might have contributed to their parting ways. Her narrative serves as a reminder that some women might not realize the significance and impact a proper spanking can hold.

Yes, I have consulted the guide. In fact, several guides. After a week of discussion, my husband suggested we should let the past remain in the past, starting afresh. We agreed, and decided on a date to start anew. One of our initial steps was to compile a list, ending up with ten noteworthy incidents from our 20-year marriage that required forgiveness and forgetting.

Here is an account from Sarah. Her childhood experiences involved spanking by her father. (Note, I am not advocating spanking children, but merely presenting a viewpoint.) Do follow the link to read her full comment. Unfortunately, Sarah’s husband seems to be spanking her somewhat reluctantly.

My vivid childhood memories include a moment when my door opened abruptly, my sheet was torn away, and I felt the sharp sting of my father’s belt on my bare bottom several times. His words echoed in my ears, “you missed your curfew.” Following that event, I never missed curfew again. I would often get called to stand before him and accept my punishment whenever I was in trouble. Despite the chastisement, I never felt abused, instead, I felt loved, protected, and well cared for.

Spanking and Aftercare

Aftercare, while traditionally considered a practice within the BDSM community, has wider applicability and can enhance any sexual encounter. The intense emotional and physical stimulation often leads to a sudden crash, explaining why many might feel inclined to sleep immediately afterward.

However, when it comes to rough sexual play, such as spanking, the post-coital nap ought to be postponed. The intensity and aggression of the activity can leave one feeling vulnerable in addition to experiencing the crash. Consequently, it is advisable to hold and comfort each other, tend to any injuries inflicted during your intense session, and discuss the experience. Allow yourselves to be absorbed into the tranquility following the climactic moments. Consider sharing a shower or a bath, rehydrating, exchanging thoughts, and remaining fully engaged in the moment. Once you both feel calm and relaxed, yet still riding the waves of endorphins, you might then proceed to enjoy a well-deserved post-sex nap. Or, if energy permits, you could consider a second round!