Unlocking the Mystery: Why People Enjoy BDSM
So, you’re curious about the psychology behind BDSM, huh?
Let’s dive in without getting too complicated. BDSM used to have this “dark, psycho” vibe. For a long time, folks into bondage, beatings, and humiliation for fun were labeled as mentally ill. It was seen as a weird thing only messed up folks did. But, truth be told, that’s just a bunch of nonsense. People from all walks of life engage in BDSM. In the 1980s, the American Psychiatric Association removed S & M as a mental disorder. This move, similar to removing homosexuality as a mental disorder in 1973, marked a big step towards accepting those with non-vanilla desires. BDSM is just playful kinkiness, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! Even the science of the mind and human behavior backs that up.
If you’re still not convinced, here are some cool facts and insights into the psychology behind BDSM. Why do people enjoy this kink?
The Numbers Game
Let’s start with numbers. Ever wondered how many people are into this kink? Researchers estimate it’s somewhere between 2 percent and 62 percent. Yep, that’s a pretty wide range. The wording of the question matters when you’re asking about people’s intimate habits.
On the lower side, researchers asked Aussies if they had “been into BDSM in the past 12 months.” Only 1.3 percent of women and 2.2 percent of men said yes. On the higher side, questions focused on “sexual fantasies.” A whopping 64.6 percent of women and 53.3 percent of men admitted fantasizing about getting sexually dominated, while 46.7 percent of women and 59.6 percent of men confessed to fantasies about sexually dominating someone.
Despite the differences in wording, we can still say that a good chunk of both women and men either fantasize about or engage in BDSM in one way or another.
Is something wrong with people who are into BDSM?
According to Freud, if you even think about BDSM, there’s something wrong with your mind, and you need immediate treatment.
However, recent research paints a different picture.
Studies indicate that compared to the average group, those into BDSM had lower levels of depression, anxiety, PTSD, psychological sadism, psychological masochism, borderline pathology, and paranoia. In terms of major personality traits, BDSM enthusiasts showed higher levels of extraversion, conscientiousness, openness to experience, and subjective well-being. They also displayed lower levels of neuroticism and rejection sensitivity.
Sure, BDSM practitioners still had some negative traits—they were less agreeable than non-practitioners and showed equal levels of obsessive-compulsive disorder, along with higher levels of dissociation and narcissism.
But overall? BDSM enthusiasts might be considered psychologically healthier. Interesting, right?
Now, let’s delve into the psychology behind BDSM.
The Pain-Pleasure Connection
Common sense tells us we seek pleasure and avoid pain, driven by our survival instinct. If something hurts, we instinctively find ways to make it stop. However, activities like marathons, tattoos, piercings, and BDSM go against this survival instinct psychology.
Science explains this phenomenon. Pain of any kind triggers the central nervous system to release endorphins—proteins that block pain and function like opiates (e.g., morphine). These endorphins not only alleviate pain but also induce feelings of euphoria.
The Power of Endorphins
Consider runners for a moment. After intense activities like running, the body releases lactic acid—a by-product of glucose breakdown when oxygen is low. This acid irritates pain receptors in the muscles, sending distress signals to the brain via the spinal cord. The brain interprets this as a “burning sensation,” prompting the runner to slow down or stop. Enter the hippocampus, the nervous system’s control center, which responds to pain signals by triggering the production of the body’s natural painkillers—endorphins.
Endorphins bind to opioid receptors in the brain, halting the release of chemicals involved in pain signal transmission. Beyond pain relief, endorphins take it a step further. After quelling pain signals, they activate the same brain areas associated with passionate love affairs and music. It’s a post-pain rush akin to the euphoria induced by morphine or heroin.
Not All Pain Leads to a “High”
While some pains bring a “high,” others are simply agonizing. Enter the concept of ‘benign masochism’—seeking pain while knowing it won’t cause serious harm, a behavior unique to humans.
Consider chili, for instance. Its active ingredient, capsaicin, is harmless, right? It induces pain by binding with TRPV1, part of temperature-sensitive receptors in our tongues that alert the body to potentially damaging heat or cold. Activating TRPV1 sends signals to the brain as if the tongue were on fire.
As kids, we despised chili, but through repeated exposure, we learned to disconnect the sensation from real physical danger. Yet, chili enthusiasts’ tongues remain as sensitive to capsaicin as everyone else’s.
The Human Fascination with Pain
Scientists have attempted, without success, to instill a liking for chili in rats. While animals can be trained for self-harm through “positive reinforcement,” generally, they avoid painful experiences. Pain seems to be a uniquely human indulgence, offering a potential insight into the psychology behind BDSM.
This behavior aligns with the concept of benign masochism, where humans actively seek and enjoy inherently unpleasant experiences like wild roller coasters or emotionally charged movies. If animals followed suit, they’d likely be scared off and never return.
Benign Masochism in the Realm of BDSM
Engaging in BDSM aligns with the principles of benign masochism. Distinguishing between “good pain” and “bad pain” is crucial, as BDSM participants understand. Good pain is enjoyable and adds to the allure of BDSM for submissives. However, recognizing bad pain is essential—it signals potential issues that need immediate attention. For instance, if a shoulder starts pulling during bondage, indicating a potential risk, dominants release it promptly.
What effect does BDSM have on the people who do it?
In the BDSM scene, the one taking on the bound and submissive role, experiencing stimulation, relinquishing full body control, and following orders is referred to as a sub. On the other hand, the one providing stimulation, giving orders, and having complete authority over the sub is known as a dom. A study aimed to understand the psychology and assess the effects of BDSM on practitioners by measuring various physiological and psychological variables in subs and doms before and after their scenes.
Both subs and doms reported increased relationship closeness and decreased psychological stress after their scenes. However, subs exhibited increased physiological stress, measured by the hormone cortisol. The study identified a discrepancy between psychological and physiological stress, suggesting that subs might have entered an altered state of consciousness.
To test this hypothesis, an experiment randomly assigned switches, practitioners who alternate between dom and sub roles, to either role in a scene. The results indicated that both subs and doms entered altered states of consciousness, but they experienced different states.
Subs entered a state associated with reduced pain, feelings of floating, peacefulness, living in the present moment, and time distortions. In contrast, doms entered a state linked to focused attention, a loss of self-consciousness, and optimal task performance. These altered states of consciousness could be a primary motivation for individuals engaging in BDSM.
Concluding Insights
Contrary to the widespread belief that BDSM practitioners are psychologically troubled, studies have shown that they tend to be psychologically healthier and less neurotic than those with milder sexual preferences. Understanding the psychology behind pain and the experiments with BDSM practitioners provides insights into why people are drawn to and benefit from this kink.